
Introduction
George Whitefield, the famous evangelist, once stayed at the Edwards home for a few days. After his visit he wrote that, “A sweeter couple I have not yet seen.” And also added that Sarah Edwards was such a beautiful example of a godly wife it renewed his desire to marry. The next year he married. Would someone visiting your home desire to have someone like you in their home? How would you even define a godly husband or wife? What about a godly parent or child? Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us to surmise the answers on our own. He provides them directly in His Word. Colossians 3:18-21 gives us a pattern for godly family life, which will lead to happy homes and stable lives.
Observation
Pray
Before studying this passage, ask the Lord to give you understanding and wisdom. His Spirit can open the eyes of your understanding and convict and comfort from His Word.
Read Focus Verses
Today’s passage in the book of Colossians is short, but it is powerful. Read Colossians 3:18-21 and notice what kind of relationships it is talking about.
Theme
What is the theme of this passage? What kind of relationships is it talking about?
Keyword – Family Relationship
Mark the words referring to family relationships to easily spot them in this passage.

Family
Family
Mark the family relationship words like husband and children in Colossians 3:18-21.
4 Roles
People in four roles within the family are addressed each in one of the verses of today’s passage. What are the four roles addressed?
Part A
The first two relationships addressed in verses 18-19 are between people in what kind of relationship with one another?
Part B
The second two relationships addressed in verses 20-21 are between people in what kind of relationship with each other?
Wives
What is the main command given to wives?
Why?
Why is the wife to submit to her own husband according to verse 18?
Husbands
What two commands are given to husbands in verse 19?
Children
What are children commanded to do?
Why?
Why are children to obey their parents according to verse 21?
Parents
What command does God give to parents in verse 21?
Why?
Why does God say parents are not to provoke their children to anger?
Interpretation
Family
Why does God deal with the family so specifically in His description of the Christian life?
More Information
Ephesians 5:22-33 gives us more information about the reason for God’s instructions to husbands and wives. Read the passage to understand His perspective.
A Picture
What relationship is marriage supposed to be a picture of?
The Wife
In the relationship between Jesus Christ and His church, who is the wife supposed to represent?
The Husband
Who does the husband have a responsibility to represent in his marriage?
The Curse
In Genesis 3:16 we see that sinful men and women struggle specifically with God’s respective commands for them in marriage – love and submission.
Love
How much does Ephesians clarify that a husband is supposed to love his wife? What is his model?
Submission
Why do you think God so specifically clarifies that a wife is to submit to her own husband?
Agreement
Biblically, can a husband and wife agree that he doesn’t have to sacrificially love her and she doesn’t have to submit in some areas? Why or why not?
Further Explained
The verses about parents and children are further explained in Ephesians 6:1-4.
Disobedience
According to these verses in Colossians and Ephesians, when may a child disobey their parents (supposing that their parents are not telling them to sin against God)?
A Perfect Little Boy
We see the ultimate example of obedience in the Lord Jesus as a boy in Luke 2:51-52.
The Son of God
The ultimate example of obedience is found in Jesus’ relationship to His heavenly Father. We see this throughout Scripture, but it is extra vividly portrayed in Philippians 2:5-12.
Discouraged
Take a moment to look at the word God uses to describe what happens when a parent provokes their child to anger.
Strong's G120
Greek,athumeo [ath-oo-meh'-o]
--Verb
Origin: from a compound of (1) (as a negative particle) and (2372)
Definition:
- to be disheartened, dispirited, broken in spirit
A Parent’s Responsibility
Notice how much responsibility for their children’s actions (while they are children in the parent’s home) God places with a parent in 1 Timothy 3:4-5.
Ultimate Father
Who is the ultimate example of Fatherhood in the Bible?
Application
Christ and the Church
How does seeing marriage as a picture of the relationship between Jesus Christ and the church change your perspective on marriage?
Role Models
As you saw in today’s study, family relationships reflect relationships with God. When you want to dig deeper into how to relate to your family as a Christian, the Biblical models provide answers. If you are a wife, you can study how the church is to relate to Jesus Christ. If you are a husband, you can study how Christ relates to the church. If you are a child, you can see how Jesus Christ relates to His Father. If you are a father, you can study how He parents His children. What family relationships do you have, and how do you need to change the way you are relating to your family to properly reflect God’s pattern?
Wrapup
Closing
We hope this study has helped you understand better God’s pattern and purpose for a godly family.
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